i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
