dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
