he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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