I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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