I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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