so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
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