do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
