I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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