that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
