She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
