yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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