haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
