i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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