Non-Jews are for practice
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
