Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
