I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
