He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
