Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
