I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
