At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize