and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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