____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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