We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
