finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It's blow job season.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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