Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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