So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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