I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
