There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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