yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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