I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
