Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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