sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize