You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i drank out of a bidet.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
