i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
