Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I need water and some morals
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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