well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize