So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
