oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
