in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
