so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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