So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
