dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize