FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
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Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
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I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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