there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
