check it out our google latitudes are spooning
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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