So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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