Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
