I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
50% drunk capacity currently
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
