dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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