Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
what the fuck happened to the tacos
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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