I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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