69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
God I need to hump something, right now.
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