I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
