You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
