I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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