Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
