Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
