Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't notice because vodka
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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