i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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