How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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