He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
