I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
