What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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