WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
