so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
